Tag Archive: Relationships

BOUND (R – 18+)

Why did you cut your hair?

What am I going to run my hands through?

I didn’t let my hair grow out for you. You’ll be fine. Get here first.


What are you doing?

Shhh… Stay.

It’s 9.21pm and by now, it’s easy to tell that I do not have good intentions

towards your body. This silk Hermes scarf that reminds me of Paris, its fit for your

right hand. What are you doing? Is the question you ask when I secure your right

wrist. You know. I don’t know why you bother with being coy. Lyon is the orange

scarf that secures your left wrist. Marseille is the scarf that holds your left leg. My

eyes trace the distance between the two of them. 2 hours and a bit by train. 10

minutes by slow, deliberate kisses from the crook of your arm, via your

sidesthrough your waist, right down through your hip right down to your leg.

X is the shape your body forms when I secure Lagos – the black silk neck tie I

have in a sailor’s knot around your right ankle.

I laugh. Like I do when the moment is supposed to be awkward. I laugh when I’m supposedly not supposed to. Fuck that. I have you at my mercy now. This is an identical moment to the ones you have with your man. You like it, your nails grazing his back and your power over him is obvious. But no, you love it even more when A Man takes you. It’s why even though you’re tied up, blindfolded and helpless; you love it. You act like you don’t but I know you do. You squirm and make those purring noises of discomfort. But you love it. I know this because you moan when Istanbul brushes against your left nipple. Istanbul is a multicolored feather that reminds me of the Holi.

It drives you crazy and you moan. You hate it; losing control like this. It’s a change

from how you subtly dominate him and he doesn’t even know it. But it’s amusing

to me and I chuckle just to aggravate you further. Your man is reverent and

worships at the temple that is your body. Fuck that, I’ll just flick Istanbul lightly

again and again, as I please, against your clit. You draw and writhe against the

holds of Paris and Lyon. Viva la France! I say under my breath.

I’ll need to change the sheets.

Monday is going to chuckle and say Oga is a naughty man from the stains you’ve made on my sheets. But I’ll wait. I’ll wait till you beg for it. You need to be filled. I know you do. But every man before right now has carelessly plunged into your depths without bottoming out in the nadir of who you are.
Say it, I whisper. It’s right on the tip of your tongue. Just do it. But no, the last vestiges of your control quiver as I run the pink feather from your right knee, via the inside of your thighs up against your mound. I chuckle as you shudder. It’s amusing how your flesh shakes and quivers.
Say it, I chuckle.

Fuck me.

Prague is the ice against your clit as I lick lightly on your left inner thigh. I want more conviction in your voice as you say these things. I want you to say it louder. I withdraw both ice and tongue; and blow. The warm air causes you to shiver. Say it.

Fuck me, please
Hahahaha. The desperation in your voice is too amusing, abeg. No, you don’t mean it, I say. Fuck you, Jibola stop torturing me and fuck me dammit.
So feisty, I groan. It’s so much fun, this torture and teasing. But my body craves to be pleasured as well. I free Paris and Lyon but Marseille and Lagos are still splayed. Your hands, like a barnacle, clasp around my neck. And you dig your nails into my back. Weird how, it courses as pleasure down my spine.
Your breath catches as I fit just enough in. I look at your face, like a coke bottle with beads of sweat all over. Just the tip, I say, Ewinot pen you. We laugh together and you call me a bastard. I delve in to the hilt and you cut off mid-sentence. It’s the look on your face that makes me laugh again. I hope it’s not your cum-face, but you prove me wrong; drawing blood and holding me tighter. And you squeal, making me wish I had ear-muffs.
I thrust round and round. It’s a dance, and I’m swaying to an unheard soukous rhythm, coaxing more and more pleasure out of you. You whimper and say things only you can understand. It’s how I know it’s just begun.


It will be a long night.


Why Do Men Cheat?

Anyone who’s done it before knows it sucks. At best, you keep your mouth shut about a one-time slip and carry on for the duration of the relationship knowing that you’re a grade-A dush bag

And yet, we persist. Well, “we” as in men, not “we” including me, but I’ve been there before. I’ve done it. But why? Why have so many of us at some point in our lives done what we all know to be the cardinal no-no in relationships? Some blame biology and our predilection to spread our genes as far and wide as possible. Technically, it’s true. Re-productively speaking, indiscriminate lady boning is the most efficient way to ensure that the species flourishes. The problem is that it’s been about 50,000 years since our survival was ever in question. After all, it was humans (or puffins, or penguins, I can’t be sure) who invented “mating for life.” Why can most men get it right, while others can’t?

What follows is a list of “reasons” why men cheat. Reason might not be the right word, because it implies a lack of control or premeditation. That said, they aren’t really excuses, either, because an excuse is usually something you offer in lieu of a truer, more embarrassing explanation. What do we call them then? Good question. Without further adieu or confusion, here are the top 6 things related to why men cheat on their ladies

No. 6: You’re not getting any

Let’s all be adults here and agree that after a certain age, we commit to someone because we like her an awful lot and need a socially defensible way to sleep with her on the regular. I’m not trying to belittle anyone’s moral or religious views on the issue, nor is sex the most important part of a healthy relationship. But it is a big part, and as adults it’s really what separates friendship from romantic involvement. If you’re in an emotionally fulfilling but sexually inadequate relationship, it can almost be more frustrating than having no one at all. For guys unwilling to have a difficult conversation or jettison an incomplete relationship, cheating is often seen as an option

No. 5: She cheated on you

If you’re in high school or are just really immature, this probably makes a lot of sense. she cheated on you, but you love her too much to end it, so you figure evening the score will iron everything out. It’s tempting for any guy too weak or love-drunk to make tough decisions, although never in the history of mankind has hurting someone made you feel less hurt yourself. And, fellas, here’s a tip: If she cheated on you, she’s probably already checked out to the point where you turning the tables isn’t going to phase her much. If anything, you’re just validating feelings she already had.

No. 4: You want to know you’ve “still got it”

Everyone has a deep-seated need to feel wanted and attractive, not just by their significant other, but by the public at large. That’s why you clean yourself up when you’re just going out with your bros, or why your lady friend puts on makeup even if she’s just going shopping. Even the occasional harmless flirting by or with an attractive member of the opposite sex can put a little extra pep in your step, and that’s fine, because it’s likely your partner who will reap the benefits. For a truly insecure man, though, that won’t be enough. He needs to actually score in order to feel validated. If you combine the insecurity here with the barren sexual lake beds of No. 6, it’s almost (almost) understandable why some men stray.

No. 3: You COULDN’T say “no”

If we’re being honest, it’s not often that gorgeous women walk around waving their hoo-has in our faces and handing out open invitations for sexual intercourse. Still, I think most men have, at some point in their lives, had an attractive woman really come on strong to them. How we handle it depends on several factors, dating status presumably chief among them. Single? Great, hit it like it owes you money. Not single? You know what the answer should be, but do you have the will power?  The kind of man who gives into this kind of temptation is often less experienced with women, and despite his being spoken for, believes it to be an opportunity he can’t pass up. But if you’ve been around the block a time or two, you see that kind of come-on for what it is: abnormal, desperate and kind of a turnoff. If it helps, you can say you couldn’t blame her because you’re so handsome.

No. 2: She disgusts you

Sometimes in a long-term relationship, people let themselves go. Maybe she’s gained a ton of weight, maybe she’s developed a drinking problem or maybe she just can’t seem to get her sh*t together in general. Whatever it is, the problem with familiarity is that you don’t notice these things as they happen over time, the way you would with a friend or relative you don’t see very often. Instead, all of a sudden, you wake up one day and realize the creature sharing your apartment is a far cry from the girl you first said “I love you” to. Again, for some men, it comes down to choosing between having a difficult (potentially fruitless) discussion or just chasing tail elsewhere.

No. 1: You don’t love her anymore

Here’s a fun exercise if you’re single: Go find an ex you truly couldn’t care less about anymore, and have sex with her. Not quite what it used to be, is it? Love (or at least feelings), we learn as we get older, is a big part of what makes great sex great. Take those away, and you’re just two animals humping. It’s why one-night stands usually kind of suck, and why the aforementioned ex-sex is at best disappointing. When that happens, it’s tempting to replace those lost feelings with the excitement that comes with meeting and bedding someone new. It’s a poor substitute and, ultimately, delays the inevitable.

So are these reasons? Explanations? Let’s call them rationalizations, something between a reason and an excuse. Whatever a man tells himself (or his partner) to rationalize his infidelity, it belies the simple fact that he is involved in something in which he does not fully wish to be involved. If you feel like you’re going to cheat, try to determine if it’s for any of the above reasons (or something altogether different) and see if it can be resolved. If not, suck it up, be a man and get out. Cheating, above all else, is an act of disrespect and cowardice

Echoes Of Silence…

At a time in my life, i felt alone.. like i wasn’t loved.. during my lowest moments, i wrote this little note.. it so happens i stumbled upon it recently.. looking at it now, i’m glad things are not as it used to be.. when you’re done reading, i guess you’ll know why.. happy reading…
There’s a reason that I hate romances. They always remind of the things that I never
had. Love, such an insignificantly small, four lettered word; yet all the people seemed
to be so obsessed over it. Frankly I don’t get it. I don’t get any of it. May be it’s just me,
and my weird self.
I’ve been involved with women, some casual, and some I thought were serious. But I
suppose I never really loved them. I thought I was, and at times I forced myself to feel
that way. I’ve said the same lines to every single girl. They keep asking me why them?
What made them so special to me? And why do I love them? I just merely told them
what they wanted to hear. Does that make me a liar? I suppose so. Does that make
me heinous? I don’t know, maybe it does. I’ve been living in pretense all my life. I’ve
been pretending so much that I’m confused about what I really am. I’ve been lying all my
life, and I’ve lost the truth somewhere along the road.
The truth is that I’ve always kept my feelings in check. Truth is that I’ve kept my
emotions shut. I was five when my dad left my mum, after they had a fight and he hit her.. Most would’ve cried, most would’ve
broken down, most would’ve acted differently than the way I did. I just kept staring at
my mum, not sure what I should feel or how I should feel. People around were giving
me weird looks. Their faces were worried, and their eyes asked “what’s wrong with
that kid?” So I learned from my mistakes. When it was my grandmother’s turn to go to
the other side, I just followed the lead of my relatives. They looked sad, I looked sad.
They started crying, and so did I. even though I wasn’t really sad.
I’ve been called a jerk, a dick, a moron, a loser; none of which I’m denying. I may be all
of those, and probably more. I know inside, that I’ve earned all of them. The facts that
even the relationships that I claimed serious, not lasting for a considerable amount of
time, made me realize that I truly deserve all of them. May be it is because that
inside I’m still a little child. I want toys that I don’t have, and when I finally get them I
just get tired of them, and start looking for a new toy to play with. Or maybe it is just
simply because I’m afraid of commitments.  I am damaged, I know, and probably
beyond anyone’s help.
I am man with little regrets in my life. I neither regret nor resent any encounter I had
with anyone in my life. So why am I writing this? I myself don’t know the reason. May
be I feel guilty for all the lies I’ve said, and all that I made others believe, or maybe I
just felt like getting this off of my chest. I did it all to spare myself of loneliness, and
to get myself distracted from my life itself. I guess I’m a little bit more selfish than I


Relationships are beautiful things, no doubt. They give you this sense of security, that someone special has got your back; you have someone to run to whenever it seems the whole world is turning against you, and best of all, that you are being loved for who you are.

Unfortunately though, bad relationships – or rather, relationships gone bad – are sometimes inevitable. The best thing any ‘victim’ can do is to do everything possible to get over such mishap – and everything allied to it.
One good way to do such is to listen to songs that will help you get over your ex.
It’s rather sad that most Nigerian singers have subconsciously neglected this dark area of life, and gradually (over time), no one is saying anything therapeutic about breakups. This inspired the a search for the most suitable Nigerian tunes for breakups; not really the ones that will keep you moping over your misfortune, but those that should really help you get over your ex!

Say Your Love – P-Square

6 Nigerian Tunes to Help You Get Over Your Ex

“You say your love no dey lie, say your feelings no dey die; see me girl (now) I dey cry”. You’d think guys were the ones bad with promises until you give this track a good listen. She even cheated on the innocent and sincere P-Square with ‘his’ best friend. “Get out of my sight make you find your way” goes the verdict of the ‘played’ lover. Too bad he loved her ‘pass his mama’, and now he wants to die. But he won’t! Put this soulful classic tune on replay all day, and I bet you’d feel better about your breakup, especially if you actually pulled the red card!

Ego – Djine

6 Nigerian Tunes to Help You Get Over Your Ex

Okay, love-bereft and heart-broken boyfriends are finally tired of begging and doing everything to please the unloving girlfriend, and are ready to go and ‘start life anew’. This is the lamentation of a lover who has put everything into a relationship he really thought would move to the next level – marriage, and had been a victim of spiteful criticism from friends and family because of the love he has for a woman who did not appreciate or reciprocate this feeling in the slightest bit. “If I die how I go appreciate say when I dey this world I don fall in love? If you help me see Ego, make you tell am I don go…” tuneful singer and super-producer Djinee bemoans. Such plaintive and emotional pidgin-English tune for any regretting lover who wants to leave everything behind and start all over.

Game Over – P-square

6 Nigerian Tunes to Help You Get Over Your Ex

Failed promises from a woman again; and the incredible crooner twins are once again the victims. She kept hanging up when he called, and she kept telling all her friends she wanted to break up – all this after cheating badly. Thank God he didn’t wait till she did the worst.
Warning: “If I dey go left, make you dey go right… if I dey go front, make you dey waka dey go!” So sorry about the break-up, but that part is a bit funny. That game was truly over! Tell that ex with all confidence; “this game is over”!

Not the Girl – Darey

6 Nigerian Tunes to Help You Get Over Your Ex

You’d almost be moved to tears even without a bad breakup or an unforgivable ex when you allow yourself to dive deep into the grief-stricken lyrics and penetrating instrumentals of this song. The song is not yet at the break-up stage, but it will serve as a good reminder of how you noticed her/his negative changes, how you thought you ‘lost her/him long ago like a book that’s left the shelf’ and how much you’d been expecting her to leave. Stop wondering how it all went wrong, forget how much you tried and all the tears you cried – she’s gone and gone for good! With a strong resolution to put the emotions in check ‘next time’, all in a bid to protect his ‘poor heart’, this is versatile and multi-talented Darey Art Alade’s masterpiece for loves gone bad.

Bibanke – Asa

6 Nigerian Tunes to Help You Get Over Your Ex

This emotional masterpiece translates to ‘When I’m Crying’. This song tells the story of a bad break-up obviously initiated by a guy who was actually no longer in the relationship except for his physical appearance. Asa bitterly recounts how the player swayed her with his sweet words and very believable assurances earlier in the relationship, and also regrets how she’d been ‘a fool’. “When I’m crying, even if water is flowing, just leave me alone!” At the end of it all, classic lyricist Asa only had ‘surrendering everything to God’ as a last resort. There are very strong lyrics throughout the song. This sad tune with Yoruba chorus and bridge will surely be evergreen for bad break-ups!

Once Bitten – 9ice

6 Nigerian Tunes to Help You Get Over Your Ex

Whenever a set of lyrics is not written out of mere creativity, but the words flow out of real life experience and the song gets released as it was hot, anyone would really feel the pain of the singer. Such was the experience Nigerians had with 9ice’s “Once Beaten”. I wouldn’t want to dig up unpleasant stories, but this song is a perfect way to assure yourself that you are wiser and can’t make the same mistake again or fall for the same trick twice. The singer’s story was actually – and sadly – a bad marriage. “Once bitten, twice shy” indeed!

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